Waking up with Elsa an inch from my face, I watch her and wonder if she's okay.
There is a sense of normalcy in our home; it is "our new normal" as they say. I don't like it but it is what life has dealt us. Having one dog has been an adjustment for all of us. But now 2.5 months since the loss of our most amazing boy Luke, I think that Elsa is doing okay. I have no doubt that she still misses Luke; but she is dealing with life without him.
At first there was a real sadness about her. Many heavy sighs and restless groans accompanied her heavy hearted staring out the window. That has now changed, the sadness has lifted and she is once again her joyful self. It is life and we must move on; there is no going back for anyone, no matter how hard you wish.
I find myself staring at her a lot. I want to make sure that she is okay; but I am not coddling, that would reverse progress. She is left alone at home daily and is fine with that. When I see her missing Luke, it is when she lays down to rest. She was always touching, entwined or surrounding him in some way, her way. This is when I see the loss in her eyes, but she is okay with it.
Resting on my lap, where she can often be found. Along with her three balls and her new toy.
I miss him, I always will; it is still too new to not hurt when I think of him. But we move on amongst the sadness and step into the life in front of us.
Yesterday as I did some quick gardening; I looked over to see Elsa upside down and wagging on her blanket in the warm the sun and smiled. She's good.