Always in my heart










I cannot believe how the events of the last few days have played out.  I am at the moment, sitting in Nashville, TN with a few moments to spare, a nice breather from our non stop trip.  This past Friday our little Jack Russell; Jessie who was a wonderful 15.5 years took a turn for the worst.  For almost a year our little nugget has struggled with Dementia; a disease that has never before struck our home and I frankly hope that I never see it again.

Dementia left our little robust, spitfire girl with little more than a desire to circle.  What she did have as far as memories were from long ago, set in stone type memories.  Feeding time, or the meaning of a leash and that is about it.  With our essential relocation Jessie became much worse; her world as she knew it was now gone.  As my son and I traveled across the country we could see her growing worse by the day, so bad that the decision became essential.

No one ever wants to make this sort of decision; taking away the life that you have nurtured for over 15 years is not an easy thing to do.  What needs to be done is for the human to step back and look at life from the canines point of view.  There was no question, it was time.

I thought that it might be easier this time, she's been failing for a while.  It is never easy; with the decision made I came unglued the moment I walked into the vet.  I held her tight in my arms, whispering to her how special she was and what an amazing life we'd had together.  I held her close, I kissed her head and breathed in her scent, stinking as it was.



In the 15.5 years of Jessie's life she did a great deal of teaching and making us laugh.  The tenacious little 15 pounder went down a hole after a ground hog, took on a Rottweiler and many
 several big and scary dogs, fell 30 feet out of a tree chasing a squirrel and kept on going and leaped high to grab a bird in mid flight, swallowing it down.  A girly girl she was not.  Always ready for a rumble she ran this pack as the "top dog" for over 14 years.   





The vet came in and was wonderful; but it doesn't help.  Jessie left this world wrapped tightly in my arms.  She remained there long after she was gone, her confused circling now over.  Her struggles with the unknown were now gone and she was free to run and chase whatever her hearts desire.  Our little girl is gone, never forgotten and always in my heart.

20 comments:

  1. Having just lost my Maisie, I can commiserate with your pain. No matter how long they are given to us to love, it's never long enough. You made the ultimate sacrifice to put her out of her pain and confusion and now she is free. That is the essence of true love----caring for the one you love more than your own feelings. I wish you peace with your decision in the coming days.

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  2. RIP lil Jessie....Knows you had the best life possible...xoxoxo

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  3. Sheri, I'm so sorry for your loss... I can't help but cry when reading this...

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  4. elaine bernardingSunday, December 11, 2011

    Oh Sherri, I am crying. I am glad you and the other loves of your life were with her. Thank you for sharing your experience.

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  5. I'm so sorry for your loss Sherri. It is the hardest thing you have to do when you live with dogs. Hugs to you...

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  6. Beth Bratten - ATL GASunday, December 11, 2011

    I read this with tears in my eyes. I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy.

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  7. Virginia TheNurseSunday, December 11, 2011

    I am so very sorry for your loss......I don't know how you are managing to keep it together..I would be an absolute basket case and need to be sedated. I hope your other babies got to say goodbye to Jessie and are fairing okay for now........You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Sincerely with love
    Virginia

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  8. So very sorry to hear about Jesse. Please know that she is free and that you provided the best forever home she could have ever needed. God Bless, safe travels and know she is still riding with you all.

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  9. From mom Beaglebratz(Kim)
    I am so sorry you and Jessie had to go thru that dreaded disease before such a loss. My little Oreo, a Yorki-Poo, was almost 16 when he suffered a mild stroke in the late summer of 2006. At first he seemed to fully recover - still getting around ok and eating ok - even occasionally chasing his fav toy. He had already started developing cataracts but his vision deteriorated more the he slowly stared losing his hearing and later that fall developed urinary inccontinence. But still I had a difficult time letting him go since he still ate enuf and went out in the bakyard on his own. But then he started staying to himself out in the kitchen more and more only to seldom wander into the livingroom -just stand there acting like he was looking aroun then wander bak to the kitchen to sleep more - nothing in the house had changed for several years so it wasn't that. I work around people with Alzheimer's and dementia and knew that a stroke can bring on a form of dementia. Finally I heard from a wise friend - when you look into a dog's eyes and can see there is nothing there bak - no recognition, no "lights going on" then your dog it letting you know they are tired and ready for that long sleep. Although it is THE most difficult decision a pet parent ever has to make, I firmly believe I owe it to my dog to honor their wish. I also believe that it was an honor to have Oreo in my life and I will never be sorry he was a part of my family.

    Ok, I am babbling but like you, I hope never to see those signs of dementia again. I can tell from her pictures that Jessie must have been an oer but really sweet little lady. I am so very sorry for your loss.

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  10. Sherri,

    What a lovely tribute to your beloved Jessie. The pictures are a keepsake, to hold dear, and have as a memento of your special girl. My deepest sympathy to you and your family, on this heartbreaking loss. Safe travels, Tina Stanton

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  11. I'm so so so very sorry....

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  12. yes, she will be always in your heart. i am so sorry. my heart aches for you.

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  13. Sherri -
    As you say, it's never easy. My heart goes out to you and your family especially since we recently had to make that same decision for Beaumont.
    Jessie will live on not only in your heart but in the hearts of all of us with whom you've shared your photography.
    - Donna M.

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  14. Sherri I'm so very sorry for your loss. I dealt with the same thing with my little rescue Yorkie Dickens. It was heart wrenching watching him go down hill mentally. ((((Hugs)))) to you and yours through this difficult time.

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  15. Dear Sherri: My heart goes out to you as I write this through my tears. I just wish I could be there for you as you were here for me with Ragzz Cosette. You are an amazing woman and Jessie was so lucky to have you as a mom. Sending you love and hoping your pain will be soothed by loving memories. Love, Teri

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  16. Sherri..........My heart goes out to you in your loss of Jessie. Losing a wonderful dog is heartbreaking; at least we have all the wonderful memories and pictures that stay with us. It is one of the most difficult decisions we have to make when it becomes time to put our beloved animal down. Jessie will always be with you in your heart and memories. God Bless.

    Louise

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  17. Chase the squirrels to your heart's content, little girl! So sorry for your loss....it's always so hard to bear.

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  18. I saw this on facebook earlier but wanted to just say Im so sorry to hear this. You gave her a wonderful long life :) Treasure the memories. She is at the rainbow bridge, happy and healthy waiting for when you meet up again :) Prayers on the way!

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  19. You have quite the support network out there Sher. Your writing made me cry. Glad you had to be busy when all this happened. She will be with you always. Beautiful pictures and tribute. All my love Laur

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