Hang with the good ones-leave the bullies to fend for themselves.



I would like to discuss people today; in regards to dog but people specifically.   First let me say that I think that the internet is a magnificent thing.  Not long ago there was no access to information of this type so the fact that we can simply type a question in and get hundreds or thousands of references is pretty fantastic.  I also love social media.  I have met so many wonderful people on FB and love how people with common interests can come together and share their passions.

As I'm sure you all know I have several FB groups which I truly enjoy.  Being a dog photographer I often share images of my own dogs.  As I tried to finish up my book 'When Luke Met Elsa," I was looking for a final image.    I was searching through baby pics of Elsa when I came across one that I thought needed sharing.  I posted it on my group and went on with my writing.  Later on I checked in on my page and discovered that someone had very loudly (in caps) stated that poodles should not have long tails. I explained that Elsa had not had her tail docked and that I was happy about it.   This person further went on a venomous rampage about how dogs "should" be, and that did not include having a non docked tail.   From the tail issue she moved to attack different colors that she thought should not be permitted which many of the other members have and love.    But she was not content to attack the dogs that these people love, she moved onto the people themselves.  She brought up all sorts of things to fuel her tirade.  

The whole incident got me to thinking, why do some people feel compelled to shove their opinion down other's throats?  It boggles the mind doesn't it?  The high and mighty attitude that some people take to try to back up their opinion as if it is factual instead of just their opinion.  These type of people get really mean and the meaner they get the less people listen.  You would think after being this way for a while that they might learn how best to approach others and share their knowledge.  Needless to say I removed this person from my group.  I have well over 5500 others who are friendly, happy and kind; why on earth would I allow someone like this to ruin things for the rest of us?

I have been involved with other groups over the years where the "mean" people were allowed to stay.  They continued their rude ways, insulting others to fuel their egos.  Some people leave the group because they do not want to not put themselves through needless drama and nonsense.  I was one of those, I left two groups because of rude, loud mouth and egotistical type people.  My opinion on people like this is to cut them off and lessen the nonsense in your life.  Life is far too short to have people like this in it.  So many people in the large dog groups are there for the love of dogs.  They enjoy learning, sharing their knowledge and hearing about other people and their love of dogs.  This is what it is all about.  I love my groups and I will not allow them to be polluted by these types.

I have over the years learned how best to share information; even when it is a very "hot topic."  I have very strong opinions; some might even go so far as to say opinionated.  ;)  But I am very clear on who's opinion it is, mine and only mine.  If I want to share it, I will gently broach the subject; depending on feedback will factor in on how long I will continue for.  "Listen and take what you want from it," I say commonly when researching and listening to other opinions.  I probably learned the most about dealing with people by dealing with dogs.  As a dog trainer you can only educate, share and offer; you cannot force a person to do anything.  Once you are out of the picture an owner will do whatever they see fit.

 Thinking about the controversy over Elsa's tail the other day has me wondering what this person really wanted.  Did she want me to put my hands in the air and state "YES WE SHOULD CUT IT OFF; I was wrong to think that she should be allowed to keep her tail."  Why do they push, they push and push until everyone hates them.  Others turn and walk away while they stand and continue their assault on deaf ears or none at all.  What drives people like this?  Attention?  I think maybe.  We certainly know that it is not out of the goodness of their heart.  There are a lot of great people out there, hang on to those and let the others hang themselves.  

8 comments:

  1. Thank you for a great article it hit at the very essence of what I have felt, but have never put into writing in a public format. So for those of who can't, won,t for whatever reason thank you again!

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  2. Some folks have "tail" issues and I give them about 5 seconds of my energy... They have the right to their opinion, but that's where it stops for me... The world is a marvelous place.. my poodles keep me happy when all else fails.. long or short tailed dogs also make me smile.. fat one's skinny ones... they all are happy to see me.. mostly..

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  3. Thanks! I got attacked on a forum because of the breeder I chose ... it hurts. I learned a lesson from the pup they bashed. He has never returned to a dog that has attacked him. He will choose to play with one that wants to play nice :)

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  4. I think you said it in the title the best: these people are "bullies"; and deserve our sympathy for living life in anger at every turn... And I, too, am thankful for not being that way... and poodles who love life remind me of that each day!

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  5. Everyone has a right to their own opinion of course. But we also have the right not to put up with bullies. Insisting that your opinion is the only right opinion is just another form of bullying. Luckily we are adults and can and do delete these bullies from our lives. social media feeds etc. It is with a bit of chargrin I admit I get a ceratin satisfaction in "unfriending " a bully, boorish loud month. As a dear frind who was just diagnosed with cancer reminded me "life is to short"..

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  6. Wow - so interesting you post this - just last week I was blasted by a woman in a local shop who said that my beautiful black and white parti pup shouldn't be "considered a 'real' poodle", that it was inappropriate that he didn't have a proper top-knot trim, and that his tail was not properly docked. Once she finished her tirade (leaving my little one hiding behind me), I asked her if she had a piece of paper. She said she did, but what for? I said I wanted to make sure she had the name and phone number of the psychiatrist I wanted to refer her to. The shop owner choked and tried to contain himself, and I just stared her down. She turned and walked out the door. I have patience for, but no room to keep these people in my life. The shop owner and I made a point to play with my little one, whose feelings were honestly hurt. He's all better now:)

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  7. I had a similar discussion on Facebook about poodles. Tail docked hair colored . Schutzhundtraining with poodle and so on. I Don't think that those people have the right to insist on their so called free opinion. ignoring the right s of other beings is not the same as saying open One's mind. What I really miss quite often is a conceousness of moral and ethical questions and believings. We Do Not have the right to treat animals like we want to see them , without taking care of their personality and dignity. I was really shocked about the rudeness people Are able and willing to discuss. SO thanks Sherri für your statement. FRAUKE from Germany

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  8. I had a similar discussion on Facebook about poodles. Tail docked hair colored . Schutzhundtraining with poodle and so on. I Don't think that those people have the right to insist on their so called free opinion. ignoring the right s of other beings is not the same as saying open One's mind. What I really miss quite often is a conceousness of moral and ethical questions and believings. We Do Not have the right to treat animals like we want to see them , without taking care of their personality and dignity. I was really shocked about the rudeness people Are able and willing to discuss. SO thanks Sherri für your statement. FRAUKE from Germany

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